It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no. you can't hotbox the world.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program