If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream