Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs