What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
