my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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