great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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