your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
