Umm I'm too high to move.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
