My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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