my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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