this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize