Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
