I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
