i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
