There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
