I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
