just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
