Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
