There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize