At least make sure they are 18
Why
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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