my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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