mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
