We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She's the barista slut.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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