The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
