ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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