Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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