I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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