Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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