At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
