I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize