The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
false alarm. still invincible.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
