Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
