Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He did a backflip because drugs
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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