Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
