My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
