there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
