bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Did I show you my penis last night?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize