Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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