KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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