it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
