matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
