I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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