He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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