i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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