hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
