U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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