Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
