She said her name was "party"
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
