yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
