I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
