Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
