Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
