You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
