i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
