so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize