One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
