just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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