Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
