the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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