So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
