Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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